Purple (ahem, grandempressshekzeer) goodies, thanks to an awesome friend! Pics are straight from the camera, only editing done was some compression so the pics wouldn’t exceed Tumblr’s size limit :P
does your brain ever just produce disturbingly violent thoughts out of nowhere
like terrible, horrible, thoughts
for no reason at all
and then you snap out of it and you’re like
i don’t want to kill my mom
what the fuck
they’re called intrusive thoughts and apparently are very common
Anonymous said: Is it really happiness if you are on antidepressants? I mean the tablets are doing it, not you. Don't you think you'd be stronger if you did it without?
Please understand I am still brain fogging but I feel its important to address the problems in this way of thinking so I’ve spent the last half hour carefully trying to construct this response. I’m still struggling to think right now and there may be mistakes.
First of all you seem to have a fundamental misunderstanding as to what depression is. It isn’t feeling a little down or ‘just not being able to cope’ it is a mental health issue. The feeling down and being unable to cope are symptoms.
There are several types of antidepressant and I wont go into detailing all of them, however the type I’m currently being given is a Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor (or SSRI). These do exactly what they say on the tin - block reuptake of serotonin.
My doctor explained it to me like this - our brains produce serotonin (which makes us happy) then breaks it down and reabsorbs it. For people like me (and many others) this process is happening too quickly and we therefore have very low levels of serotonin. SSRI’s slow this down. So they dont actually give you anything, they just allow you to process what your brain is already producing.
So no I don’t think I’d be stronger to go without - I have a problem and these tablets are helping me deal with it. We go through periods like this for many reasons - sometimes its an outside source (grief, dealing with external issues) but sometimes there isn’t a reason.
I hope this has educated you a bit anon.
Holy fucking shit. I just…I wish I hadn’t read this because I am so unimpressed. I’ve had people who barely know me say this to me before and it’s already bad enough feeling weak and sometimes like a freak for being depressed and knowing that you can’t really talk about it to other people who haven’t experienced it because they are ignorant and assuming it’s something we are doing to ourselves and I just…no…argh…
This is basically like saying to someone with a disease, “Don’t you think you’d be stronger without your medication?”
UHH NO THEY’D JUST BE ILL
my godfather took this picture some years (1998) before he died of cancer, he loved photography so much even when he was in hospital he used to carry hes camera.
ive got tones of pictures but this one its kinda special, the woman reading in Rio de janeiro, shes a stranger, he stood there for a couple of minutes waiting to get the perfect angle and took the picture, when he developed it he gave me his camera (even tough i was a toddler), if he was alive, he would be one more blogger in here, he was so special, the kind of person that could see your soul before your face.
On my way to my latest foot appointment, I learned that I have always hated sleeping. Even when I was non-verbal, I actively avoided going to sleep. I would stay up as long as humanly possible, even when it was clear that I was falling asleep where I stood. I’d shake myself awake and start singing to myself.
So…pretty sure I’ve had nightmares since forever.
Depression is humiliating. It turns intelligent, kind people into zombies who can’t wash a dish or change their socks. It affects the ability to think clearly, to feel anything, to ascribe value to your children, your lifelong passions, your relative good fortune. It scoops out your normal healthy ability to cope with bad days and bad news, and replaces it with an unrecognizable sludge that finds no pleasure, no delight, no point in anything outside of bed. You alienate your friends because you can’t comport yourself socially, you risk your job because you can’t concentrate, you live in moderate squalor because you have no energy to stand up, let alone take out the garbage. You become pathetic and you know it. And you have no capacity to stop the downward plunge. You have no perspective, no emotional reserves, no faith that it will get better. So you feel guilty and ashamed of your inability to deal with life like a regular human, which exacerbates the depression and the isolation.
Depression is humiliating.
If you’ve never been depressed, thank your lucky stars and back off the folks who take a pill so they can make eye contact with the grocery store cashier. No one on earth would choose the nightmare of depression over an averagely turbulent normal life.
It’s not an incapacity to cope with day to day living in the modern world. It’s an incapacity to function. At all. If you and your loved ones have been spared, every blessing to you. If depression has taken root in you or your loved ones, every blessing to you, too.
Depression is humiliating.
No one chooses it. No one deserves it. It runs in families, it ruins families. You cannot imagine what it takes to feign normalcy, to show up to work, to make a dentist appointment, to pay bills, to walk your dog, to return library books on time, to keep enough toilet paper on hand, when you are exerting most of your capacity on trying not to kill yourself. Depression is real. Just because you’ve never had it doesn’t make it imaginary. Compassion is also real. And a depressed person may cling desperately to it until they are out of the woods and they may remember your compassion for the rest of their lives as a force greater than their depression. Have a heart. Judge not lest ye be judged.
Pearl (via psych-facts)
This is seriously the most accurate description of depression. Wow.
- elementary school: reads at a middle school level
- middle school: reads at a high school level
- high school: reads at a college level
- college: re-reads Harry Potter
Something I did a few months ago, missing the west coast so desperately.
It’s one of the pictures I am more proud of, I kinda want to make a poster of it. Haha.
I don’t often draw random people (usually go for fanart or portraits) But since I have not been really in any fandom in a while, I just used my imagination.
Ref used for bird and guitar